I'm breaking my silence. I've felt violated and scared one too many times to keep quiet. Last night while walking the one block from the bar to my car after a friend's going away party, I was catcalled. "Hey, girl! Everything about you is looking right in that dress... ooo that ass!" Something to that effect. While the correct response may be for me to feel flattered (I did spend over 5 hours at the gym this week... glad to know it paid off for this "gentleman"), I felt violated. I was scared, counting the steps I had left before I reached my car. I got my cell phone out and made a call... maybe if I'm on the phone with someone they'll leave me alone. Not quite an eye witness, but at least someone would hear me scream if the guy decides to get out of his car and follow me, or worse. Thoughts rushed through my head. "I should have gotten a ride to my car... why am I walking alone at night?... is this dress too revealing?... I should be wearing more sensible shoes." This guy may think he's boosting my ego. He may think he's paying me a compliment, but what he's really doing is making me remember that 1 out of 6 women have been raped in her lifetime (https://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims). So far, I've been one of the five, but every time something like this happens I wonder if my luck is running out.
Now I'm not saying I don't appreciate attention, but these guys on the street... they don't know me. When a friend or even an acquaintance tells me, "You look pretty tonight," or "I like your new haircut. Looks good on you," I appreciate the sentiment as what it is... a genuine compliment.
Catcalling, within the broader category of street harassment, is a problem... one that warrants our attention. According to a national survey done by Stop the Street Harassment, 65% of women have experienced some form of street harassment in their lifetimes, 86% of those experiencing it multiple times, if not daily (http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/2014-National-SSH-Street-Harassment-Report.pdf). This isn't to say that men are not also harassed on the street. Women are guilty of objectifying men too. I've done it... I mean Mark Wahlberg's Calvin Klein ad, anybody? However, what stands out to me here is that 9 out of 10 rape victims in 2003 were female (https://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims). Maybe this data is outdated, maybe I watch too much Law & Order: SVU, but I'm tired of being scared.
Catcalling may be a manifestation of insecurity; however, I'm more inclined to believe that it is, in some instances at least, a manifestation of power. I'm a pretty brazen individual. I usually say how I feel, making my opinions (right or wrong, for better or worse) known, for example, this blog. However, in instances where a guy is yelling obscenities and evaluations of my body at me through his car window, I'm silenced by fear. I feel powerless to defend myself. If I yell back, "leave me alone," or "get a life," will that anger him in some way, encouraging him to retaliate? So I keep my head down and my mouth shut and quicken my pace. How will this ever end if we keep our mouths shut though? Luckily, there are people who are leading the way to get the word out, like http://www.ihollaback.org/. So, the next time you're catcalled or made to feel powerless while walking down the street, tell the world. Raise awareness.
