So you say you're pro-family and/or pro-life...

So you say you're pro-family... but your definition of family is narrow and you might even support ripping families apart in certain situations (e.g., deporting "illegal" parents of citizen children, sending mothers and fathers to prison for nonviolent crimes). You most likely define family as the traditional, nuclear family that represents only 48.4% of families with children under the age of 18 from 2001-2007 in the United States according to the CDC, which defines nuclear family as "both parents must be biological or adoptive to all children in the family" (2010, p. 4). Now granted this definition may include both heterosexual and homosexual couples in states where it is legal for them to be married and have or adopt children, there are still states (my own included) which have constitutional bans on marriage equality, and others which have state laws, no recognition, or stayed pending appeals. When people say they are pro-family, what they generally mean is that they are pro-family's that have two heterosexual parents. The bone I have to pick with this idea is two-fold:

1) Two parents are better than one? As someone who was raised by a single mother (quite successfully, I might add), I take personal offense to this. My childhood and my upbringing were the epitome of love and support. Between my mother and my amazing grandmother, I was cared for quite arguably more than some individuals who are raised in a home with both of their biological parents. To insist that my life is less than because my family did not match the "pro-family" ideal, is insulting to me, my mother, and my grandmother. To add insult to injury, I am also a single woman who wishes to have children someday, regardless of whether or not I find my "one true love." I hope to adopt, but other people's politics may prevent this from happening if I remain unwed. As someone who is trained in education, truly wishes to raise children, and will be gainfully employed and able to provide stability, shelter, safety, love, and other needs beyond just those basic to human life, I find it ludicrous that I may be unable to fulfill the role of adoptive mother because I don't have a ring on my finger and a piece of paper. Being married does not necessarily mean someone will be a good mother or father. So for those of you who say you're "pro-family," yet oppose single individuals being able to adopt, please start describing yourself as pro-marriage (I won't get any further into the absurdity of our society's narrow definition of marriage than I already have).

2) Homosexuality is bad for kids? This is similar to my single woman wanting to adopt rant. Being gay or lesbian does not mean someone will be a bad father or mother. There are kids who will be forced to grow up in the foster care system (which has been said to be a determinant of future criminal behavior) because our society does not want them to have a gay parent. So for those of you who say you're "pro-family," yet oppose gay parents being able to adopt, please start describing yourself as homophobic.

So you say you're pro-life... but this only applies to unborn babies. Many individuals who say they are pro-life support the death penalty and defend cops who demonstrate police brutality that ends in death. To vehemently oppose abortion and turn around and say that young, black boys and men like Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, and Eric Garner "had it coming" because they were breaking the law is extremely hypocritical. What this hypocrisy sets up is a hierarchy of life worth... only some lives are worth fighting for. So for those of you who say you're "pro-life," yet support the death penalty and/or fatal police brutality, please start describing yourself as pro-fetus.

The point of this rant is simple, people who say they are pro-family and/or pro-life are playing to the public's emotions. After all, who can argue against family and life? The stances "pro-family" and "pro-life" individuals take are often contradictory. They say they value family, but look away as fathers are sent thousands of miles away from their children in the name of immigration policy. They laud the married mother and father whose fighting behind closed doors is impacting their child's mental health and well-being, and in the next breath criticize the single mother for having a child out of wedlock. They post Facebook statuses denouncing rape victims who get abortions, then share an article in support of Darren Wilson. Through it all, they contribute to systems of racism, sexism, and heterosexism. The effects of their confounding opinions oppress people of color, women, and the LGBT community.

Reference:

CDC. (2010). Family structure and children's health in the United States: Findings from the national health interview survey, 2001-2007. Vital and Health Statistics 10(246).